


To See Takes Time

by i3ernadette



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-09-16
Updated: 2010-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-11 21:38:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i3ernadette/pseuds/i3ernadette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mid-season 4, Buffy and Spike come across the beginnings of a portal. When another version of Buffy, six years older, comes through it, things begin to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

Buffy lost herself in the lunge-stake-roll of slaying, the whisper of breeze past her face and the whirl of her coat around her, the thickening of her mucous as the ashes of the slain settled in her throat... Buffy hacked up a gob of spit. Okay, she could totally live without that part of it.

"Can I get blacklung offa this stuff?" The vampire she was battling halted for a moment, surprised by the question. She took advantage of the moment and staked him.

"Some help you were," she grumbled. The small nest dispersed in the most literal sense, Buffy left the tiny city of masoleums and headed towards the fresh plots on the other side of the graveyard. Eleanor Michelson had been exsanguinated three nights before, and Giles had asked her to keep an eye on the grave. "Heh. It's a stake out!" She giggled to herself, tucking her stake more securely into the waistband of her jeans.

"God, you're punning to yourself, now?" Somehow, the voice wasn't as unexpected as its owner had hoped. Of course, the little tinglies running up and down her spine probably had a little something to do with that, but mostly it was just that Spike was, in all things, predictable.

"Can't waste the quality material on some yob who's about to make with the motes, can I?" She looked him over; he'd fleshed out a fair bit since he'd shown up on Giles' doorstep with the beginnings of a suntan, but pig's blood obviously wasn't the high octane he was used to. There were still circles under his eyes, and his tight T-shirts weren't quite as muscle-revealing as he probably thought. But still, no biggie. She hadn't staked the guy, so he really wasn't in any position to complain.

"If that's your quality material, best you spare the poor blighters and do your bit in silence." He extracted an ever-present cigarette and lit up, drawing in for a long moment as he fell into step beside her. "There's a thought, innit? You, mute? God, but the heavens would sing praises to whomever could pull that off."

"Give it a go, then. I've been looking for an excuse to exorcise some demons. This particularly annoying one comes to mind..." She pulled out her stake and twirled it through her fingers, laughing at the expression on his face. "What're you up to, Spike? Willy cut you off again? Can't hustle enough to buy yourself a pretty little vamp girl?"

Spike visibly restrained himself from retorting, much to Buffy's surprise. "Just thought I'd see if I could pick up a spot of violence, Slayer. If you're feelin' the Lone Ranger vibe, just say the word."

The rejection was already pushing her tongue forward when her brain caught up. It was a slow night, and spatting with Spike was better than sitting around on cold tombstones waiting for lazy dead people to get their asses in gear. "'Sokay. You can be Tonto. Just this once," she warned.

"No worries, pet. I'm rarely quite this bored." He cocked an eyebrow at her, sneer smearing his face.

"Huh. And you wonder why you don't have any friends." She shrugged and turned away, scanning the plots for the freshest graves.

"Oi! Kemo Sabe!" Buffy turned at Spike's shout to see a bright pinpoint of light flaring in the space between them. She thought at first that he had flicked his cigarette in her direction, but stopped herself from snapping at him when she realized it was stationary.

"What is it?"

"Light at the end of the tunnel?" He smirked, and she shot a glare his direction.

"You've got better eyes than me. Is it doing anything?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "The almighty Slayer is admitting to a failing? Will wonders never cease."

"Spike..." Her tone brooked no argument, and he shrugged in resignation.

"Kinda coruscating a bit."

"Huh?"

"'S glittering. Pulsing."

"Oh." She sidled around it, avoiding getting any closer but wanting to see if the change of angle would have any effect. "Is it getting any bigger?"

"Can't really tell, actually." All of the sarcasm was gone from his voice, his attention fixed on the tiny pulsating point.

"Look, I'm gonna -" she was distracted from whatever she was going to say by the crunch and heave of the ground behind her. She spun around to see pale, dirty fists with bloody knuckles punching through the earth. She sighed, tossed her hair, and walked over to wait for the fledgling to rise.

After a long, boring minute of watching the hands flail, she gave up. Grabbing one tiny wrist, she pulled upwards until the vampire was free.

"Eleanor Michelson?"

The vampire nodded, confused.

"Check." And she was dust.

"Yeah, that was sporting." This time Spike really did flick his cigarette butt at her, but she simply stepped aside to avoid it.

"Look, Spike. I'm gonna stay here, and I want you to go back to Giles' and tell him about the chorus-girl light thingie."

"'S called 'coruscating', pet." He smirked.

"Whatever. Can you do that?"

He looked her over, the beginnings of an obnoxious leer on his lips. "What's in it for me, then?"

Buffy groaned. "One: lack of imminent dusty ending. Two: promises of future violence. That do you?"

"You gonna let me patrol?" He asked, pointed brow climbing towards his hairline.

"Would you just go already?" She demanded, exasperated.

"I'm gone," he shouted over his shoulder, already halfway across the cemetery.

"Great," muttered Buffy when she couldn't see him anymore. "And again with the lonesome boredom."

She spent a long half-hour idly flipping her stake, bored enough to practice the expansion of her senses that Giles swore would eventually allow her to feel less powerful vampires. She even thought she felt a tingle, but before she could verify it, it was subsumed by her overwhelming awareness of Spike's approach. By the time Giles' tiny Citroen sputtered to a stop and he, Spike, Willow and Xander piled out of it, she was posed between them and the light.

"Welcome to tonight's freak show. Penny a pop for the ladies and gents, vamps are a dollar."

"Hey!" Xander protested. "The funnies are my job!"

"Yet another in the long line of lost career opportunities," Spike clucked, shaking his head in mock tragedy.

Xander glared. "And yet, he lives. Care to remedy that, Buff?"

"Can't, Xan. He's already dead." She exchanged a quick grin with Spike that had Xander backing away slowly.

"Okay. I've coped with a lot of things in my life. Giant demonic mayor-snakes, pedophiliac praying-mantises, hyena happies, and your everyday array of bloodsucking fiends and oozy demons. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, has creeped me to the level of seeing the two of you make with the bonhomie."

"As nobody is currently bleeding or shouting - your protests aside, Xander - I find I prefer this particular scenario to their usual modes of interaction." Giles nodded at Buffy. "Might we see the phenomenon?"

"Where's my penny?" She pouted. At his scowl, however, she skulked aside, giving him access to the tiny point.

"Have you noticed any change in Spike's absence?" Giles asked, maintaining a healthy distance.

"Besides the increased peace of mind?" Buffy chuckled, but quickly amended her answer. "Nah. It's too small for me to tell."

"I can't be sure," Spike stepped closer, "but I think it's gotten bigger. Or at least it's flaring more."

Giles nodded in Spike's general direction, attention fixed on the light. "Interesting. Willow?"

She jerked herself away from a whispered discussion on the merits of swiss rolls versus twinkies to bound perkily over to Giles. "Yup?"

"You have been working on the detection of magical signatures, have you not? Do you think you might be able to examine the area?"

She looked at him askance. "Can't you do that?" Only a little more than a month had passed since her will-be-done spell had gone so disastrously wrong, and Willow was still dubious about performing any magic without a grounding circle and direct supervision.

"Not without supplies that I hadn't the forethought to pack. I can, of course, retrieve them if you feel yourself unable..."

"No, no! I'm able. I'm extra able. Just watch me with the able!" Spike and Buffy backed behind Willow, who dropped into a tailor's seat on the ground and closed her eyes. Murmuring a quick blessing to herself, she extended her hands, feeling the thrum of magic vibrating the sensitive skin of her fingertips. When she opened her eyes again, she could see the magicks that held the tiny light in place. "That is beyond cool."

"Wanna fill those of us without magic monkey powers in, Wils?" Xander was on his knees directly behind her, as if he could see through her eyes if he got close enough.

"It's like... I can't tell what it's supposed to be, but it's growing. There's this big egg-shaped magical lattice, and the more pulsies the light makes, the further out on the lattice it reaches. Like most of it's down a big hole, but it's pulling itself out."

Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "In other words, someone is constructing a portal."

"A portal to where?" Xander was helping Willow to her feet, and almost slipped when he tried to pay attention to Giles as well. It was only Spike's unexpected support at Willow's elbow that let the two of them maintain their feet.

"From where, actually. A portal of the type Willow described is induced by a rather long, intricate ritual that takes place where the portal will eventually open."

"So since there's no hummin' little blokes in black robes, it's somebody else trying to come here." Spike lit another cigarette and leaned against the recently-dusted Eleanor Michelson's glossy new tombstone.

"Indeed. The ritual to create such a portal usually lasts upwards of twenty-four hours, so we should commence monitoring this point tomorrow night." Giles was obviously prepared to leave it at that, but Buffy's hand on his elbow stopped him.

"Uh, Giles? This thing's gonna get bigger, right? Well, people actually get buried, funerals and all, in this part of the cemetery. What if someone sees it?"

"Then I'm sure that, in true Sunnydale fashion, they will conclude that it is merely a trick of the light and put it out of their mind."

"They can't, y'know, fall in or anything?"

"The portal should be inert until complete, but if you like, Willow and I can cast an aversion charm over the area."

She beamed up at him. "That'd be great. Thanks, Giles!" She turned, then, and addressed Spike. "You up for a couple more cemeteries? Or did watching me take out poor Eleanor put you down for the count?"

"I think I can handle it," he replied, settling his duster more securely around his shoulders. "Later, Watcher, Witch, Whelp."

As they made their way through the tombstones, Buffy's voice trickled back to her friends: "You just make with the nicknames so you have grounds for inane alliteration, don't you?"

Spike's reply was lost to distance.

Giles sighed. "Well, then. Let's get to it, shall we?"

"Is nobody else feeling the wig that is Spike and Buffy playtime?" Xander grumbled.

Willow raised a hand. "It's pretty wigsome, yeah."

Giles rolled his eyes. "Spike is an excellent fighter, and no threat to Buffy. I don't care how they get on as long as they are neither affianced nor engaged in mutual homicide."

Willow cringed at the reminder and returned her attention to setting the aversion charm over the area. When Xander started acting skittish and began meandering aimlessly away, she broke off her chant and grinned at Giles. "It worked!" She squeaked.

He peered at her over his glasses. "Well done, indeed. I had expected to find it necessary to assist."

Willow shrugged. "No biggie. Buffy kept stealing my pens, so I cast a smaller charm over my desk. Just amped up the power, and it's good to go!"

Giles smiled. "Excellent. Shall I give you and Xander rides home?"

"Sounds like a plan, G-Man." As they passed beyond the field encompassed by the aversion charm, Xander came bounding back towards them.

"Haven't we had this discussion," Giles complained.

"Yup. No diminuitives associated with the illustrious name of Giles. Gotcha." Willow was still giggling at his antics when they piled into the car.

)))

Buffy warily approached the location of the portal just as the sun began to set. She knew it was there, knew she had a purpose in heading towards it, but simply could not turn her eyes or her feet that direction. Eventually she huffed and gave up, settling herself on a nearby tombstone.

Half an hour later, Willow came rushing up, Spike strolling in her wake. "So, so sorry I'm late. There was studying, then there was talking, and then there were double-shot mochas with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles." Her hands were busy as she spoke, slinging her bag to the ground and feeling through the air in front of her for the tingle in her skin that registered her magical awareness.

"Far be it from me to interfere in chocolatey caffeine indulgence." She cocked her head. "You got coffee with Spike?"

"What? No!" Willow's voice was distracted, her eyes shut tight.

"Nah. Heard the pitter-patter of tiny feet and felt the urge to investigate." Spike slumped against an opposing tombstone. "Any change?"

"Couldn't tell you, its - Oh!" Buffy cut herself off. As she had been speaking, Willow had ended the charm that kept her attention away from the portal. Instead of a pinpoint, the light was now a dull oyster sheen over an ellipse of air roughly the size of a door. The edges shimmered slightly, as the burgeoning portal continued its expanding pulse and crawl.

"Pretty thing, innit?" Spike asked, head tilted.

Willow cooed. "Think maybe someday I'll be able to do that?"

"Dunno," Buffy shrugged. "Not really my thing. So now what? We sit around and wait for the bad guy to poke his head out?"

"That's about it." Willow dragged a textbook out of her bag and opened it, angling it so that the nearest streetlight cast a vague orange glow onto the pages.

"Great." Buffy slipped off the top of the tombstone and settled on the ground in front of it, leaning back. "When's Giles supposed to show up?"

"He said he'd be here at eight; you found the portal around nine, right? So he should be here in plenty of time."

"But I wanna patrol," Buffy whined.

"Go ahead," Willow replied. "Just make sure you're back in time."

"I'll watch out for Red," Spike forestalled her protests. "Keep her off the dinner menu."

Buffy shot him a grateful glance, while Willow just looked at him in surprise. "Thanks, Spike." She levered herself up off the ground and was gone.

"What was that about?" Willow asked.

Spike checked himself in the act of taking a drag. "What, that? Slayer's not much for the sit-and-wait. Likely to drive the both of us bug-shaggin' crazy if she doesn't get the itch out of her feet tonight."

Willow leveled an amused gaze at him. "You know, for such an evil guy, you're really kind of a softie."

"Am not!" Spike objected, drawing himself up to his full, indignant height. "As bad as the next guy, just don't like hearin' the Slayer natter on."

"Of course not," Willow murmured. "But then, the next guy around here is me."

Spike shot her a glare but let that pass unremarked. The two of them settled down to pass the hour until Giles' arrival in surprisingly companionable silence.

)))

By the time Buffy returned, Giles had settled on the ground beside Willow and joined the vigil over the portal.

As soon as she approached, a heavy buzz filled the air. With a snap and ping that sent Spike arse over teakettle off of his perch, the portal coalesced into a bright blaze of white light. There was a murmur, as of distant conversation, and then a familiar voice rang out.

"Got it. See you in a week, Wils!" And Buffy was there.

She stepped through the portal, which closed up behind her, dropping a few inches onto the solid-packed ground. She looked older, honed, her eyes flashing brilliant green against the pallor of her skin. Her hair was darker, closer to auburn than blonde, and was pulled up into a no-nonsense pony-tail high on the back of her head. Her clothing was different, too; she wore tight low-rise denims, as was her wont, but the cable-knit sweater she wore over them was dark grey and covered all of her skin. Her boots were plain, practical, and thudded solidly against the earth as she took a step forward. She was wearing a black pea-coat, which she immediately shrugged off and folded over one arm.

"God, I forgot how warm it was here!" In spite of her somewhat weathered appearance, she sounded perky enough. Those who had been silently watching the portal just stared.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Xander loped up to them, not noticing his version of Buffy still standing a few yards behind and to the left of the newcomer. "Portal gone already? What, you killed it without me?" He pulled a moue of disappointment, then laughed. "So, then, who's up for some Bronze-y goodness?"

"Xander, please do be quiet," Giles barked. Xander jumped at the unexpected harshness of his tone, and looked around more warily.

"What's the what? Something go wrong?" He turned his attention to the interloper. "Hey, Buff. New look?"

Spike growled. "Something's off. Smells like Slayer, but..."

"Whoa!" The original Buffy came running up at that. "You can smell me?"

Spike tapped the side of his nose. "Vampire, luv."

From the first words Spike had spoken, crouched in the shadow of a tombstone, he had portal-Buffy's full attention.

"Spike?" She murmured, advancing towards him.

"Uh, yeah. Have been for awhile now." She reached out a hand towards him and he jumped back, nearly tripping over the other Buffy in the process. "Oi! Slayer! Get your... uh, other you away from me!"

Buffy interposed herself between the two. "Who the hell are you and what do you want with Spike?"

Portal-Buffy shook herself. "Oh, right. Sorry." She backed away slightly, turning to encompass the entire group. "Damn. Original Scoobies, out in force." She grinned. "This is a good, good thing."

"Um..." Xander stammered through a few false attempts before completing a sentence. "Giles? What happened?"

Giles gestured with his glasses. "That thing is what came through the portal. Obviously it's impersonating Buffy, though the likeness is somewhat off."

"That'd be what, six more years on the job?" Portal-Buffy laughed. "You don't look the same, either, Giles. And Xander! You're all skinny!"

"What, Stay-Puft?" Spike chortled until Buffy elbowed him.

"And I say again: Who. The hell. Are you?"

"Down girl," she laughed. "Was I always this feisty?" She shook herself. "Right. Here's the scoop: this is, what, 2000? So about three years ago, Giles, Angel brought you a copy of the Pergamum Codex. Now, in my time, we need it but all known copies have been destroyed. So my Giles went through his diaries, determined that he never actually used it after I killed the Master, and decided it'd be okay if I came back and got it from you. There're some other books that are pretty much irreplacable that he thought I could finagle away; some've actually been useful, but he also," she produced a three-ring binder from, presumably, the same place she stored her never-ending supply of stakes, "wrote up the pertinent information, along with dealers who said they had replacement copies in this time-line. Or he suggested scanning them into the computer, if you can make Willow promise not to let any demons loose on the internet. I'm here for a week, so you've got time."

The response to her little speech was pretty simple: absolute silence.

"Look, guys. It's me. Six years from now, we run into a situation that we really need more information on. Since this was the one place we knew we could get the information, well, I came back to get it." She shrugged. "Easy-peasy."

"You... are from the future?" Giles was polishing his glasses furiously.

Portal-Buffy giggled and held up her right hand. "We come in peace," she intoned, then shrugged again. "Nah, not really. I mean, not future-really, not not peace-really. Um. Words aren't my friend. Anyway. So what happened is, Willow and Dawn got together with some of the Coven to dig up a parallel time-line that diverged in a way that had absolutely no effect on anything we did. Really. It was like, some guy in Atoka tied his left shoe before his right, or something. Harder than just sending me back in time - and don't glare at me, Giles - but less likely to change the future I go back to. So here I am! Although I totally wasn't expecting the welcoming committee."

Giles cocked his head and looked her over. "Six years. That would mean -"

"Eleven years slaying. Yup."

"Extraordinary."

"What's the big?" Buffy asked.

"Slayers die young, pet. You're already gettin' up there, and it's only been what, five? Betcha she," and he nodded at portal-Buffy, "is one of the oldest on record."

"The oldest, actually. Not that it matters anymore. But hey, remind me before I go to set you up with some nifty new hardware!" Portal-Buffy beamed.

"Um, not to be the obligatory parade-induced raincloud, but how do we know that she's really Buffy?" Xander looked worried that someone was going to yell at him again, but released some of his tension when Willow patted his arm and nodded.

"Excellent question." Giles returned his attention to portal-Buffy. "Any ideas?"

"Hey. I've seen this cartoon. Letting the maybe-villain pick the trials never proves anything." Buffy nodded sharply.

Portal-Buffy grinned. "Good catch. So... Spike can tell I'm a Slayer. Um. Ask me some questions, then."

Giles asked first. "When did you first read the Slayer Handbook?"

She smirked at Buffy. "Never have, never will. Next?"

Willow went next. "Biggest fear?"

Portal-Buffy cocked an eyebrow. "Mine or yours?"

"Both."

"These days, it'd be me vamp, you frog."

Willow nodded her agreement as Spike stepped up. "How'd you beat me the first time we fought?"

The smile on portal-Buffy's face turned unexpectedly sad. "Didn't. Mom clocked you with an ax."

Spike sucked hard on his cigarette as Buffy asked her question. "Why... Why did I get so mad at Angel just before we kissed for the first time?"

Only portal-Buffy noticed Spike's scowl at the question, though Xander's disdainful sneer earned him a poke from Willow.

Portal-Buffy tilted her head back and closed her eyes, thinking. "Hell, girl, that was a long time ago." She shook herself, then, and stared straight at Buffy. "You thought he read your damned diary."

"You swear a lot," Willow murmured.

"Eh," portal-Buffy shrugged. "Xander, you're up."

Xander leveled a remarkably steady stare in her direction. "What was the worst thing I did when I was possessed by the hyena?"

Eyes locked with his, portal-Buffy's entire mien of light-hearted banter dissolved. They simply held one another's gaze for a long, telling moment, and then Xander nodded.

"It's her."

"I thought you couldn't remember," Willow hissed, and Buffy jolted when she realized what he was talking about. She walked over to her friend and reached out, twining her fingers with his and pressing their shoulders together.

"It's okay," she murmured. His return nod was pained.

"Do I miss all the fun, then?" Spike tried to break up the suddenly solemn atmosphere. "What's this about Harris gettin' all possessed?"

"There was an ego-maniacal zookeeper and a primal hyena spirit, followed by the consumption of a live pig. Altogether, not a fun week." Buffy's answer was terse, but just frivolous enough to lighten the mood.

"So. We convinced?" Spike asked, sticking his hands in his pockets and rocking up onto the balls of his feet.

"We're good," Buffy nodded, and led the way out of the cemetery.

"So my Giles managed to salvage his diaries, but they're pretty fusty. What's the 411 on the Scooby set?" Portal-Buffy was walking alongside Giles, having fallen into step behind the others.

Giles looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Can you... If you're from an alternate timeline, then it shouldn't matter. Do they all..." He trailed off.

Portal-Buffy stopped and turned to him, catching his elbow so he swiveled to face her. "I'm not going to lie, Giles. It's not easy. And even though everyone here makes it through, that doesn't mean that everyone we care about will. The next three years or so are incredibly, excruciatingly hard on all of us." But then her eyes burned, bright with mirth and joy. "Though there may be a way to fix some things," she conceded.

"Is that wise? We have no way of knowing how -" She cut him off.

"Giles, Giles, Giles," she shook her head. "I told you, didn't I? The Coven scanned this time-line for points of divergence. The plan is for me to do what I can, and in a week, when it's time for me to go back, my Willow will let me know if I fixed things or truly screwed them up. Obviously, we can only tell for the next six years, but there's been a two year lull on apocalypses - well, not counting the crap Angel gets up to - so we have some leeway. If all things are a go, then you get to be eternally grateful; if I've blown it, well, I'll trigger the forget-me charm Willow set me up with and your memories will re-write themselves as if I were never here."

"Re-aligning the universe around the presence or absence of a particular individual is hardly something I would term a charm!" Giles protested.

"That's what we've got Dawn for. Trust me, Giles, we're copascetic." She turned and began walking again towards the gate to the cemetery where the others were waiting. "Chill. I'll fill you in later."

)))

When Giles had claimed the honor of hosting portal-Buffy for the week and demanded full rights to her time for the first evening, the others cleared out reluctantly. Spike and Buffy headed off for patrol, and Willow and Xander decided to tag along. The quick-fire exchange of insults between Spike and Xander followed them out the door and was only muffled when they turned the corner. After the last notes of their argument abated, Giles let the door shut.

He crossed past portal-Buffy, perched on the edge of the couch, and busied himself making tea in the kitchen. "Can I get you anything?" He called.

"Tea'd be lovely, milk and sugar if you have it." He looked up in surprise. "I've been living in England for the last couple of years," she answered his unspoken question. "Gotten used to it." She pointed at the heavy coat she had been wearing when she arrived; it looked out of place on the denuded coat-rack.

"Ah." The whistle of steam sounded and Giles brought the teapot and cups in on a tray. "So, where to begin? Do you want to collect the books now or can that wait for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's good." Portal-Buffy fished out a sugarcube and plucked at the corners, holding it over her saucer. "Well, I guess the first thing to do is talk about the Initiative." She looked up, her glance worried. "You know what they are already, right?"

"Yes. Although I would not be opposed to hearing what you have to say." Giles poured out and settled himself beside her on the couch, half-turned to watch her speak.

Portal-Buffy hmmed for a moment, obviously planning where to begin. "First off, I've kinda got a caveat to this full-disclosure thing."

"Go ahead," Giles nodded warily.

"Some things are gonna happen, and pretty soon, if I'm remembering right, that are gonna screw mightily with our lives. But part of this whole thing is me attempting to make your lives better, and some of the big goods come from the bad. So I'm planning to gloss over some stuff, and hoping that everyone's social lives just sort of fall out in the right order, okay?"

"Essentially, you're here to save the world, not to play Dr. Phil."

Portal-Buffy stared at him. "Did you just make a pop-culture reference?"

Giles blushed and busied himself with his tea.

"Oookay. Now that my mind is blown, on to business." She grinned and began detailing the twisted plans of Maggie Walsh and the importance of Lab 314.

)))

"So what do you think of her?" Buffy asked. She and Spike had already led the others through two cemeteries and managed to dust only one fledgeling, although there had been an interesting scrap with some sort of scavenger demon who insisted on eating fresh-buried corpses. After the absolute yuck of that experience, Xander and Willow had begged off for the night and both had headed back to the dorm room to spend the evening talking over the stranger with Buffy's face.

"Dunno, pet. She's different, that's for sure." Spike vaulted atop a mausoleum, scanning the empty cemetery as he continued his conversation with Buffy.

"Good different or bad different?"

Spike rolled his eyes and jumped down. "Different different. Don't know. Didn't say much. Seemed friendly enough, which is more than I can say for the present version." He laughed as Buffy whiffed a blow in the general direction of his head. "Oi! Watch the hair!"

"Hard not to," Buffy giggled. "But seriously. Didn't you think it was weird that she, well, didn't think it was weird that you were there?"

Spike shrugged, starting off across the grass. Buffy fell easily into step beside him. "Sounds like Giles kept records; I'd guess I'm mentioned."

"Yeah, but... She looked really happy to see you. And when she was talking about the original Scoobies, it sounded like you were included."

Spike scowled and flicked his cigarette away, watching it arc and bounce off of a tombstone. "Guess I never get this buggerin' chip out of my head, then. Must still be fighting with you lot."

Buffy dashed ahead at the sound of angry conversation. Before Spike caught up with her, though, she held up a hand to halt his progress, then crooked a beckoning finger without looking back at him. Spike crept as stealthily as he could to her side, but almost ruined it with his hissed swearing when he saw what she had discovered.

Buffy silenced him with a hand over his mouth, eyes still fixed on the Initiative agents standing huddled on the other side of the low stone wall that divided the newer and older parts of the cemetery. Riley was obvious, now that she knew to look for him, and she picked out two of his fraternity brothers from the other four soldiers. What truly held her attention, however, was the small, pale-skinned form of what was obviously a demon child, face-down on the ground with taser burns on its back. She signaled a retreat and she and Spike withdrew behind the nearest statuary.

"'S Eddie!" Spike hissed.

Buffy cocked a questioning brow.

"Clem's nephew," he explained.

"Who's Clem?" Buffy asked.

"'E's a demon, isn't 'e, so of course you won't go worryin' your pretty li'l 'ead about 'im." Spike's voice rose slightly as he spat, his accent growing thicker in his consternation.

Buffy stilled him with a firm grip on his arm and a hand on his chest. "Spike. Just tell me. Who is Clem?"

"Friend of mine. Sweetest demon you'd ever hope to meet. Got a thing for chips and dip and watching bad telly. His mum, brother and sister-in-law live over in the apartment complex behind the Junior High School. They all, but for Clem, pass as human."

"I don't care what they pass as," Buffy affirmed. "I just saw a little boy who's been burned, and a bunch of chumps who really need to be dealt with. If I get them, can you get him out?"

Spike just stared at her, awe and confusion warring across his face.

"Spike," she spoke a little louder, directly into his ear. He jumped and shook himself.

"Yeah, Slayer. I got him."

"Good." She nodded and moved back towards the wall. He stopped her with a hand on her arm and shrugged out of his coat, handing it over, before tucking the stray wisps of her hair up under her black knit cap.

"Just in case." And he moved into position.

The soldiers were still standing around the demon, who hadn't been moved. Riley, though, was talking loudly into his communicator.

"Unclassified adolescent HST apprehended. Awaiting retrieval team. Over."

The buzz and crackle of the mechanical response sounded harsh in the general quiet. "Retrieval team dispatched. ETA three minutes. Over."

Buffy's head snapped up and towards Spike at that, and he nodded back. Three minutes didn't give them much time to work with. She hefted her stake, weighing it in her hand. She'd practiced tossing it for hours, but always point-first. If she screwed this up... She just wouldn't.

Riley was standing with his back to her, and the blunt end of the stake took him square in the back of the skull. The thunk was loud, and he didn't even groan as he collapsed backwards. The other four immediately looked her way, and she ducked behind the low wall.

Spike, watching from the other side, snickered under his breath as the uptight soldier collapsed. When one of the others started signalling the remaining members of his squad to take flanking positions, Spike almost clapped. All four of them progressed together, leaving Eddie unattended. It was a matter of a moment to leap the wall, dart forward, and swoop the boy up and away. He was back over the wall and darting towards the untended mausoleums that marked the far end of the graveyard before the soldiers had even reached Buffy's position.

Buffy, meanwhile, had been creeping as stealthily as possible along the wall, away from Spike. She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw the flash of white that marked Spike and his burden speeding away, and stood to draw the soldiers' attention. The didn't notice her at first, even though the one who had taken up the left-flanking position was only a matter of yards away. Buffy grimaced and pulled herself atop the wall, making sure the soles of her boots scraped against the cement, and began running along it. With a shout, the soldiers commenced the chase. She was faster and nimbler, however, and reached the taller outer wall to the cemetery long before they did. With a gleeful grin, she flipped them off over her shoulder and levered herself up into one of the overhanging trees that grew along the grassy walkway that bound the cemetery, vaulting from there over the wall itself. From that point it was simply a matter of taking off the cap, folding Spike's coat over her arm, and disappearing into the maze of neat houses and trimmed lawns that separated her from Giles'.


	2. The Next Bit

Spike was waiting for her, Eddie still unconscious but now swaddled in Spike's T-shirt, in the little stone court that led to Giles' apartment. As soon as he saw her break from the shadows, a delighted, adrenaline-fueled grin lit up his face.

"Helluva girl, you are," he chortled.

She grinned back. "Part of me can't believe I just did that."

Eddie gave a mewling little whimper and twitched in Spike's grasp. Buffy and Spike broke off their relieved, jubilant shared grins to check on him.

"Better get this little one back to his mum, then." He turned to leave when Buffy stopped him with a hand on his arm, and he faced her with a questioning expression.

"Here, lemme hold him for a second while you put your coat on. Don't want you causing any wrecks with that blindingly white body of yours."

"Think I'm a show-stopper, do you?" He leered at her, but his lascivious expression was belied by the care with which he entrusted Eddie to her grasp. While his attention was distracted, she took the opportunity to look him over. Long, smooth muscles flexed and rolled underneath pale skin, webbed with a delicate tracery of lighter scars. She felt herself start to blush and was relieved when he shrugged into his duster.

"More like a giant glow-worm, but take it as you will," she retorted as she restored Eddie to his care. "Come back once you're sure he's safe, okay?"

He just looked at her, nodded, and left.

Buffy shook off the strange, unsettled feeling that was blossoming in her stomach and turned to knock on Giles' door.

The response was swift, as if he had been waiting on her arrival, but the surprise on his face was genuine.

"Buffy! What are you doing here?" He stepped aside to welcome her in, and portal-Buffy gave her a little wave from her position on the sofa. Almost immediately after Giles closed the door, someone else knocked.

"Please, come in," Giles motioned Xander and Willow, who looked slightly sheepish under Buffy's questioning gaze, into the room.

"Scooby meeting and I'm not invited," Buffy pouted.

"Didn't exactly have a means of contacting you," portal-Buffy pointed out. "God, I don't know how we lived before cell-phones."

"Quite," Giles affirmed, and indicated that everyone should be seated.

"So what's the sitch, then?" Buffy asked, curling up on the opposite end of the sofa from her futuristic counter-part.

"First, why don't you tell us why you decided to come calling at," Giles checked the clock on his mantelpiece, "eleven-thirty at night?"

"Fair enough. Spike and I were patrolling -" portal-Buffy cut her off.

"He patrols with you already?"

"Hey, I was bored! And so not the point. Anyway, we were going through Lindyhurst when we heard voices. We checked it out, and there was a group of Initiative soldiers - Riley included - standing around this little demon boy. They'd tasered him, and he was burnt pretty bad. They were gonna take him with them, which is just all kinds of wrong -" this time it was Xander who interrupted.

"Why's it wrong? I mean, demon. Bad, yeah?"

"Xander, he's like, six! What's he gonna get up to? And Spike knew him, said that Clem was a really good guy who just happened to be non-human."

"Uh, hate to break in here, but Clem's a hell of a lot older than six." Buffy was leaning forward, hands on her knees.

"You know this Clem?" Giles asked. "You associate with demons?"

"Says the guy who kept a vampire in his bathroom," portal-Buffy retorted. "Yeah, Clem's good people. One of Spike's friends, and he used to baby-sit Dawn." She fixed Giles with a heavy stare. "Things happened - pretty soon, now, too - that really put paid to my whole bad demon/good human dynamic. And as the guy who spent years buddying around London with Ethan Rayne, I really don't think you can argue that."

Buffy spoke again before Giles could respond. "It wasn't Clem, it was his nephew, Eddie."

"I never knew Clem had a nephew," portal-Buffy said.

"Probably because, if Spike and I hadn't waited for you, we would have been through that cemetery and gone before Riley and his friends took him out." Buffy frowned. "Which was just weird, by the way. I mean, I thought Riley was a good guy, but he was just standing around this little kid with burns all over his back, waiting to get picked up."

"Riley... is a good guy," portal-Buffy offered. "Unfortunately, he's also very easily led. And Professor Walsh is very good at leading."

"Um," Buffy twisted her hands in her lap. "How do he and I, y'know, work out?"

Giles interrupted before portal-Buffy could answer. "Your... Riley is a member of the Initiative?"

Buffy turned to look at him. "Oops?" She offered.

Giles rolled his eyes. "Lovely. This will make everything so much easier."

Portal-Buffy grinned. "Yeah, my Giles wasn't thrilled when he found out, either. But then, I think he was just peeved at being out of the loop."

"Why's our Giles' peevage different?" Xander asked. The other three turned to look at him and Willow, who had almost been forgotten in the exchange of information.

"Because I know more about exactly what the Initiative means to do than my counterpart, I believe. Although I have to admit, not being told is rather disheartening."

"Sorry, Giles. Just, everything's been so busy, y'know? I just found out when the Gentlemen were in town."

"That was weeks ago!"

"Look, I'm sorry! But right now, really not the big issue. What I want to know is: is my boyfriend evil?"

"Again," Xander coughed.

Portal-Buffy sighed. "Hell. I don't really know how much to tell you."

"I'm guessing from your lack of squee that he's not the long-haul guy," Buffy responded. "Just. Tell me if me being with him hurts my friends."

"Again I say 'hell'." Portal-Buffy stood, and beckoned to Buffy. "C'mon. This is private time."

Buffy just shrugged and followed her out the front door, leaving Giles to interrogate Xander and Willow about Riley's role in the Initiative.

"So, what's the what?" Buffy asked once they were outside of the range of the porch-light's feeble reach.

For a long moment, portal-Buffy just stared at her feet. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft. "I know that, right now, you want more than pretty much anything to be normal. The first man to break your heart was a vampire, and part of you thinks that that's why he didn't stay. But it's not true," she emphasized. "Angel didn't stay because he has to be the leader, but you're always gonna be the hero. Angel the man left you, not Angel the vampire. And then Parker fucked you over, and you're not sure about where you stand with Riley. But understand me," she turned to face Buffy, steel in her voice and eyes. "You will never be normal. You will fight, and you will slay; you will laugh and love and be happy. But dressing yourself in the trappings of normalcy when even your very human best friends don't feel that need?"

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Look. They love you, you love them, all's well and good. But Willow dated a werewolf, and her next lover isn't exactly your standard co-ed. And Xander dated Cordelia, of all people, and is now getting horizontal with an ex-demon who outdates your first vampire honey by almost a millenium. Both of them keep fighting, keep trying to save the world, and even though there are some rough patches, they stick by you. But part of the reason you want to be normal, kid, is because they tell you that you should be. But you have a calling - and I know you hate it when you hear that, but bear with me; I'm not talking about prophecies and destiny and all that crap. I'm talking about the kind of thing that draws Xander to carpentry, to helping people, the kind of thing that gets under Willow's skirt when she works her mojo. The kind of thing that makes you love the night."

"I don't -" Buffy protested, but was cut off.

"You do. And you will spend the next four years of your life trying to separate yourself from the Slayer, trying to squish it down and make it just a job, feeling guilty because you've seen how far you have to fall. But trust me. You are not Faith. Slaying gets your blood up, makes you hungry and horny, sure, but you do it for a reason. Not just because a bunch of old dudes in the desert a million years ago ordained that there was to be one girl in all the world and you got stuck with the check, but because every time you save the world, you save Xander, and Willow, and Giles, your mom and sister, Spike..." She cut herself off before she could list the others that were always on her own mental tally of loved ones.

"You save the world for Spike?" Buffy asked, eyes wide.

Portal-Buffy sighed. "I used to," she gave a little half-grin that was more sorrow than joy, and shrugged. "Then he saved it for me."

"I did what?" Both girls dropped into defensive positions; they had been so intent on their conversation that they hadn't paid heed to the sensory signals of an approaching vampire. When they recognized the voice, they both relaxed - Spike was surprised to notice that the Buffy from his time did so as quickly as the one from the future.

"Bugger." Spike had re-claimed his T-shirt, so only his head stood out from the darkness as he approached. "Why'd I go and do a damn fool thing like that?"

"For dog-racing and Man U, mostly. It's not like you haven't done it before." Portal-Buffy spun the joke, but Spike saw through it.

"Last time I did it for Dru, and I knew I'd most likely get out alive. Sounded like this time around, I wasn't so lucky."

Portal-Buffy shook her head. "Look, what happened, isn't gonna happen here. Or if it does, it's because I screwed up and you forgot I even came. So whether or not you died really isn't relevant." She turned to head back inside, but Spike's voice caught her.

"Did I choose it?" There was hope in it, and no little fear, and it pulled at her gut.

"Yes," she whispered, and he let her go.

Buffy and Spike just stood together for an interminable five minutes before she finally broke the silence.

"So. You get Eddie home alright?" It was a nervous offering, but Spike clung to it gladly.

"Yeah, he came around by the time I got there; scored us an invite to movie night, too. Gertie - 's Clem's mum - was supposed to be babysitting, but Eddie snuck out to follow his folks on their date. Don't know how he ended up in Lindyhurst, though. Anyway, Gertie invited us for dinner to say thanks, and Clem offered to make an evening of it with some films or some such. Didn't know if you'd be interested, but I told them I'd tell you about it."

Buffy looked at him. His hands were wedged in his pockets and he stood pigeon-toed, looking up at her through his lashes. When he realized she was looking back, he snapped erect into his normal big bad persona. She giggled at the metamorphosis, and he gave a rueful chuckle of his own.

"I'd love to. I mean, other-me says that Clem's really nice, and... Well, I can't interview every demon I meet to see if they're good or bad, and you won't always be there to tell me, so I should probably try to get to know some of the good ones, so I can tell the ones who are trying to kill me from the ones who're just out at night because they've got jobs or whatever."

Spike's eyes grew round and Giles, who had just opened the door to ask if they were coming in, dropped his glasses.

)))

"What's the deal? It's a smarter move than I ever made when I was her age." Giles had, after retrieving his glasses, quickly ushered vampire and Slayer inside his apartment, where he proceeded to lambast the girl in question for her apparent willingness to endanger herself by associating with demons of unknown alliance and, furthermore, to create unnecessary doubt that might cause difficulty in the carrying-out of her duties. Portal-Buffy, who had sat silently with her hand waving in the air, had finally been given a chance to speak.

"Again I say: Demons equal bad." Xander sat back as if the discussion was over, only to be turned on by Buffy.

"And I say: Grow up." Every single person in the room rocked back at that statement, including portal-Buffy. "You're dating a girl who, even if she's lost her powers, still thinks like a demon. Oz was a demon. Hell, we don't have a clue what I am." At that, she noticed the slightly guilty look on portal-Buffy's face. "I'm guessing that you do, though."

"Yup."

"Gonna tell me?"

"Wanna hear it?"

"Probably not. But if I go all hysterical, it'll give Spike an excuse to slap me. He'll appreciate that."

Spike just grinned at the prospect, then scowled when he realized that his chip would still fire. "Not nice, Slayer. Givin' me a free shot when you know I can't take it."

Buffy's return smile was wicked. "Where'd you pick up the delusion that I was a nice girl, Spikey?" She tilted her head to the side and ran her fingers along her neck, reminiscent of times spent torturing the vampire in the bathtub. The look Spike gave her was so heated that Giles turned away.

"Yes, well. If you do have more information on the nature of Buffy's powers, I think we'd be best served by learning it," he spoke precisely, deliberately avoiding the possible repercussions.

Portal-Buffy shrugged her acquiescence. "Fair enough." She turned her head and directly addressed Xander, who tried very hard not to make eye-contact. "However many millenia ago, humans were losing out. So a bunch of men with a penchant for getting others to do their dirty work called down the spirit of a demon, or a god, or who the fuck knows, and trapped it in a little girl. That girl was stronger, faster, and a better fighter than the demons she fought, and she died almost immediately. The power left her and went into another girl, one still in the same area. The men tracked her down and tried to train her, but she, too, died before she could really get a handle on her new lifestyle. Finally, one of them figured out a way to find all of the girls whose bodies were capable of holding the power, and took them away from their families and began teaching them. That way, when one died, the next one was right there. And thus the Watcher's Council was born."

"So..." Buffy drew attention back to herself. "What you're saying is, I'm just a regular girl who's been infected with some sort of demon virus?" She didn't looked shattered, though Giles was on the verge.

"Not particularly." Portal-Buffy grinned. "If there was anything regular about us we wouldn't be here. But once in a while the power gets it right, and goes into someone who's got the right mindset to handle it."

"What's that, then? Bitchy, bossy and blonde?" Spike snarked from his position, leaning against the wall.

Portal-Buffy smirked. "Pretty much. Add in gutsy and loyal, and you've got exactly what the Council of Wankers - sorry, Giles; too long with Spike - doesn't want. A girl who can think for herself, who doesn't fight alone, and who can both lead and take the big risks."

"You talk pretty well of yourself," Spike remarked.

"Had a friend, once. Had absolute faith in me. When he died, well, someone had to don the mantle." Her eyes never left Spike's face, and Buffy's mouth dropped open with understanding.

"Okay, I'm confused," Willow walked down the stairs carrying a heavy book. Giles had sent her to browse the spellbooks he stored in his loft in the hopes of discovering the spell portal-Buffy had said could be used against Adam.

"By which event, exactly, in our incredibly clear and easy-to-process evening?" Giles asked.

Willow just wrinkled her nose at him and continued. "So I was eavesdropping like mad, and I overheard the bit about Buffy having demon germs." Buffy's face wasn't the only one to twist into a moue of disgust at that image. "Anyway, I was thinking. If we all combine for this big spell, won't we get them, too?"

Portal-Buffy's face dropped. "Oh, right! I totally forgot about that!"

"About what?"

"And what's she talking about? Combination-huh?" Buffy asked.

"The way we defeated Adam in my time was to combine everyone - me, Giles, Xander and Willow - into a super-being that could make with the mojo, the slaying, and the ancient Etruscan. And the spell totally worked, no worries, but afterwards we all had these weird dreams where the First Slayer came along and kinda kicked everyone else out of her territory. But nobody got hurt, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem." Portal-Buffy's voice raised hopefully on the last few words.

"Much as I hate expressin' ignorance -" Spike began.

"Sucks to be you, then," Buffy muttered.

Spike glared at her but otherwise ignored the interruption. "Who's Adam?"

"Apparently he's a nearly unstoppable demon-cyborg hybrid created by the Initiative. He goes rogue by the end of this school-year and attempts to build an army of similar creatures." Giles turned to portal-Buffy for affirmation of his summary, and she nodded.

"That's pretty much it."

"If he hasn't gone rogue yet, why don't we just take him out now?" Buffy asked.

Portal-Buffy stared at her. "Because I'm a dummy?" She asked.

Spike chuckled, then regained his composure. "Is he government-sanctioned?" He asked.

Again portal-Buffy stared. "Y'know, you were a lot less helpful in my reality." She turned to Giles. "The army came in and closed the whole facility down once we stopped Adam. If we let them know about it, somehow, before anything starts, a bunch of people won't die."

"But the Initiative will still be around," Spike stated.

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" Buffy asked. He glared at her, but she held her ground. "I mean, they do take out a lot of vampires."

"They don't actually get that many. I mean, you slay more vamps in a week than Riley does in a year. And they don't do clean kills, and they don't care if the demons they catch are good or bad. You said you saw them earlier tonight with a little kid - they just don't care. They think all demons are animals."

"Bad guys've got the right to be taken out by someone who knows what they are, I think." Spike's statement was met with a round of raised brows.

"Spike's dubious sense of honor notwithstanding, I agree that the Initiative is dangerous. Experimentation leading to the development of behavioral control mechanisms such as Spike's chip, and further to the creation of such bastardizations of human life as this Adam creature, are abominable. I say," and Giles' smile was cold, "we take 'em out."

"Well and good, Watcher. But how're we to go about it?"

"The Council!" Portal-Buffy interrupted the silence that followed Spike's question with an excited shout.

"Buffy, in case you've forgotten, we no longer work for the Council." Giles' voice was dry.

"So?" She shrugged. "They've got to have some kind of pull, right? They send wet-works teams over all the time, these days, and you said they could get you deported. They just need to have enough influence to prompt a review, and just mentioning a secret government installation into the right ears should get attention, right?"

"But why would they?" Willow asked. "I mean, they're kinda gung-ho with the equal-opportunity demon hunting."

"And we don't have any actual evidence of experimentation - outside of Spike's head, which I presume we wish to remain attached - so we can't persuade them that way." Spike looked up with surprise at Giles' casual support of his continued well-being.

Buffy looked at her hands for a long time, spinning a stake between her fingers. She held up a forestalling hand whenever anyone tried to speak.

...

Buffy was confused, but processing.

Funny how her life could alter in just a few hours. Not like it was the first time it had happened.

If nothing changed, she would live at least six more years. She would get to grow up. She hadn't expected that.

But life would be hard. Portal-Buffy looked happy, sounded happy, but Buffy saw that face every day in the mirror, and the shadows in her older self's eyes were very, very dark.

Buffy was a demon.

Well. A something, anyway. Not entirely human, not entirely other, but never going to be normal.

Did she want to be normal?

One girl in all the world. And the faith that her friends had always shown her, that she had never truly felt she deserved... it was obvious that portal-Buffy trusted herself. To do the right thing, if she could. To save the world, if she had to. To make the right choices.

Choices that had little to do with normal.

Buffy was twenty years old, and had already been fighting back the forces of darkness for the past five years. She healed unfathomably quickly, but her body was a webwork of almost invisibly fine scars.

She hadn't been seriously wounded in a very long time.

Was she comfortable with the idea? With not just being Buffy and the Slayer, but being Buffy the Slayer? Taking her icky demon disease and making it part of herself?

She spun the stake faster, felt it swivel around her knuckles and glide over callous worn smooth from constant pumice-ing.

She couldn't be just the Slayer. That would kill her on the inside. She was a daughter, a sister, a friend, a hero - maybe someday again she would be a lover.

Her mother knew what she was, but she didn't really understand. Because Buffy had quit once, she thought she could quit again. But Buffy knew better - there was no way she could stop fighting. It's why she'd come back in the first place.

There had to be a way to fight and to live.

And she would find it. Simple enough. Hard enough.

The Slayer. Passed from generation to generation like an heirloom, deadly and bright. It killed everyone who bore it.

And an entire society grew up around it. Around her.

And suddenly, Buffy understood.

...

After nearly ten minutes had passed during her introspection, she raised her head.

"Well," Buffy started, then stalled. To her own private dismay, it was Spike's steady gaze that prompted her to continue. "I'm the Slayer. Their purpose revolves around me. And if I say that the Initiative is causing un-cope-withable problems in the demon community, then hadn't they better get their asses in line and help me out?"

"Now you're swearing!" Willow pointed an accusatory finger, but Buffy just shrugged it off.

"Y'know, it took me at least another year and a hell of a lot of damage to figure that much out." Portal-Buffy watched her with quiet pride. "Good job, kid."

"Will that work?" Xander spoke quietly, as if afraid he'd be yelled at again. Giles only looked pensive.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. If we do this, though, Buffy... they may demand you rejoin the Council in payment."

"I never joined the Council. I may be the Chosen One, but I think it's time for me to choose. If I accept that this is going to be the rest of my life - slaying, saving the world, late-night research and skipping classes to kill spider-demons in the dining hall - then I'm going to get paid for it. I expect, at minimum, a field Watcher's salary. And if they try to stick me with a Watcher, well, it's sure as hell gonna be you."

Giles beamed.

)))

"I have a job that you have to do." Everyone had left, visions of unmarked black vans chasing camo jeeps dancing in their heads, and portal-Buffy and Giles found themselves once again alone. Though Giles had expected the girl to beg off given the rather emotionally intense night they had had, and he really did want to make notes both for himself and for his report to the council, she had defied his expectations and headed straight for the kitchen to make more tea. Now she was standing, head down, hands braced on the counter, giving him an assignment like she was consigning him to his death.

"Buffy can't do it. It might not break her - she's already so much less fragile than I was - but it will change her. You... You'd do anything to keep her safe. I know that. And you understand more... This thing, you didn't tell me about it for a long, long time."

"Out with it already," Giles snapped. He felt intensely boorish when she looked up at him and he realized that she was crying.

"Next year, sometime, two things will happen. A Hellgod named Glorificus will try to ritually exsanguinate Dawn in order to open up the walls between dimensions, and Mom will die."

"Good lord." Off with the glasses, out with the handkerchief, keep your curses behind your teeth.

Portal-Buffy nodded. "If I don't change things here, then at the end of it, I die. I'm dead for over four months, Giles, before Willow brings me back."

"Before she what?" He demanded, glasses on, now, furious.

"Before she pulls me out of heaven." Her voice was low, soft, the guilt and anger and regret stripped away until it was nothing but the bittersweet undertones of loss.

Giles didn't know what to say, so he gaped, fish-mouthed, at the girl who had gone to heaven.

"The year after that... was a very bad year. And Spike told us, over and over, that magic had consequences. The bigger the spell, the bigger the price. But God, Willow used to be vain. So cocky. So proud. So very desperate to keep control."

"Willow did this?" He was almost stuttering under the weight of conflicting emotion.

"And then she got addicted to the magic, tried to control everything. You have to get her trained, Giles. Send her to the Devon Coven, this summer if you can. Get her restrained. She may never be as strong as she is in my world, but I really can't see that as anything but a good thing."

Struggling desperately to process, Giles clung to the premier question in his mind. "What were the consequences?"

"Huh?" Portal-Buffy sniffed, bent to splash water on her face. When she stood again and faced him over the kitchen bar, her eyes were calm. "Oh. Consequences." She half-smiled. "The First Evil came back and tried to end the Slayer line and unleash an army of Turok-Han that would wipe out the world."

"Oh." Nothing else to say, really.

"That's when Spike saved the world. But not until after we turned all the potentials into Slayers. And he turned Sunnydale into a giant crater."

Really, really couldn't grasp the idea of an army of Slayers. What was easier? "Is that when he died?" Not that much easier, if her look was any indication.

"The first time, yes. But the gem he used to finish it, to channel raw sunlight into the Hellmouth, was part of some big corporate scheme at Wolfram & Hart. So somebody magicked the rock out of the crater and sent it to Angel. Spike was a ghost for months, and then he was fighting another apocalypse." The kettle whistled, and she grabbed at it with relief. Her voice was almost lost under the rattle and bang of tea-making. "He didn't survive that one."

Giles reeled, and she raced to catch him. She settled him quickly on the couch and brought him a cup of tea. "Okay, now?"

Giles shook his head. "I daresay that you, in my position, would find it equally as hard to believe that a vampire renowned for his viciousness and determination would be so easily redeemed. Angel, for example, took a century to truly become a power for good, even after he was cursed with his soul. And -"

"Exactly. Angel has a soul, and Spike doesn't. But you've met both Angelus and un-chipped William the Bloody. Can you really say they're at all alike? Aside from the whole trying-to-kill-me thing."

Giles looked at her for a moment, obviously thinking over what he knew of the two vampires, before resignedly shaking his head.

"Spike has more willpower than anyone I've ever met, and is intelligent enough to rationalize in the place of the basic moral guidance a soul would provide. More importantly, he has a tremendous capacity to love."

"He's a vampire, my dear girl. They cannot love."

Portal-Buffy just rolled her eyes at his patronizing tone. "Who said so? Angel, who as Angelus is brutal and vile and despised me because he still loved me? He staked his sire for me, Giles. The woman he had loved for more than a century, who he went back to even after he had his soul, until she turned him away. That kind of devotion - to a human, of all things - was guaranteed to piss him off."

Giles snapped to attention at this new information.

"And your other source is the Council, of course. The same men who deliberately attempt to keep Slayers isolated, to see all things in black and white. Who really know very little about vampires. Giles, think! Spike fought at my side for four years; I know him to my very bones. And he can love."

Giles nodded reluctantly. "If I take what you say as truth, what bearing does that have upon his capacity to change the color of his hat, as it were?"

She turned fully towards him, earnesty blazing in her eyes. It struck Giles suddenly that this truly wasn't his Buffy, was, in fact, a woman who was practically ancient by Slayer standards. And that she might well have learned wisdom. "He sought sanctuary with his enemies, and has become a sort of reluctant companion. But Spike spent decades with his family before coming here, and he's incredibly lonely. Befriend him, include him, do whatever you can to make him a part of the Scoobies. He'll protect his friends to the death. And... it's like, as a vampire, he's disconnected from human relations. They all pass so quickly and it's easier to isolate himself and think of mortals as something other - though Spike always was a little more human than any other vampire I've ever met. But if he's part of a group of humans, then he'll start thinking about the way they connect to him, and then comes the part where he sees someone and instead of thinking 'prey' he thinks 'that's someone's Dawn, or Willow, or Giles.' It's maybe not as human as guilt or just a sense of wrong-doing, but I'd argue that it's nobler. Not killing not because it's wrong, but because he weighs the value of individual lives and finds them worthy."

Giles set aside his now-empty tea cup and contemplated his Slayer's face. "What happens when the human life he weighs doesn't measure to his lofty standards?"

"Then he makes a mistake. And you do what you can to keep him from becoming another Faith." She shook her head, though, sharply. "But the reasons that he would kill someone aren't just passion and rage - he's a Master vampire, Giles. That says huge things about his self-control. It's when he finds out that the person is in a position to harm his friends. And so you have to make sure he knows that there are ways to take care of people like that, even if the authorities can't."

"This whole point is moot. He's chipped, if you'll recall."

"The chip won't last forever, Giles. And if everything goes right, you should be in a position to trust him by the time it fails." She shuddered suddenly. "Giles, remember when I said you had to do something?"

"Yes, of course."

She stood up and stalked between her position on the couch and the hallway that led to the bathroom, and back again. When she was again standing in front of him, she dropped to her knees and reached out to grip his hands. "The Hellgod that tries to kill Dawn, remember?"

He'd almost forgotten in the midst of everything else she'd told him, but the reminder sparked his memory. He nodded.

"She shares a human body with a man named Ben - I never learned his last name. He's an intern at Sunnydale General, or will be next year. I meet him when Mom gets sick. Right now, Glory's trapped inside him, but the closer it gets to the time she can use Dawn to open the dimensional gates, the more often she can break free. She kills people, Giles. Tortures them. Sucks the energy right out of their heads and uses it to keep her sane, leaving them crazy. And she tries to kill my sister."

Giles' eyes grew wide. "Judging from our prior conversation, I would assume you want me to..." He broke off, choking over the words in his throat.

"Kill him, Giles. Somebody has to. Last time, you did it when it was too late. This time, it might not be."

They froze in that tableau, hands tightly clasped, eyes fixed on one another. Tears spilled down portal-Buffy's face, and neither thought to brush them away.

After an infinite minute, Giles nodded. Slowly.

Then he asked the question portal-Buffy had been dreading: "Why does it have to be Dawn?"


	3. Part the Third

The next day was Sunday, and Xander arrived bright and early - in that dark, dreary, pouring down rain kind of way - bearing doughnuts. And Anya.

She poked at portal-Buffy's face, and she just sat back and let her. There was something in her smile that told Giles that this, too, was another loved one who didn't make it through.

"You're skinnier, but you don't actually look any older. That's good."

Portal-Buffy leapt up off the couch, craning to get a better glimpse of her backside. "I'm skinny?!"

"Of course! Our Buffy's already a little underweight, and you make her look husky."

"Tact, Anya," Xander reminded, proffering the box of doughnuts as a peace offering.

"Psh," she dismissed the notion with her hand. She was surprised into a smile when portal-Buffy enfolded her into a hug.

She hugged back for a moment before pushing back slightly, distancing herself enough to peer into the other girl's face. "I die, don't I?" She talked over Xander's squawked protests. "You wouldn't be all emotional if I'd only left. But you're here to fix things. Can you fix this?"

"I can." Portal-Buffy's voice was firm.

"Good." Anya nodded and turned to the box of doughnuts. "Hey! Did Giles eat all the jellies already?"

Giles started guiltily, traces of filling at the corners of his mouth. "There were only two," he defended himself.

"We've only been here ten minutes! Honestly, Giles. If you're not careful, your middle-aged metabolism will have you puffing up like a Grosch demon." While he sputtered indignantly, Willow and Buffy came through the door.

"Goddess, but I'm soaked!" Willow shook herself in the doorway before peeling off her purple vinyl raincoat and draping it on the coatrack.

"Sorry, Wils, but the Ark's still in the shop for repairs." Buffy sighted the pastry box. "Ooh! Breakfast."

"We just ate!" But Willow followed the siren lure of cholesterol in her wake.

"Slayer, here. Best perk of the whole gig - all the fatty goodness a girl could ask for, and no cottage-cheese thighs!" She winked at portal-Buffy, who grinned and grabbed a doughnut of her own.

"So, what's the plan for the day?" Willow sat on the couch, chocolate-glazed chocolate with chocolate sprinkles clutched tight. Buffy dropped between her and Anya, and Xander settled on Anya's other side.

"Well, this evening Buffy and I need to call the Council. This afternoon, however, Buffy," and he nodded towards portal-Buffy, leaning against the wall by the kitchen door, "would like the opportunity to spar with our Buffy. So I called in a favor and secured the dojo on Main for a few hours. Until then, I -"

"I've got a date." Buffy interrupted.

"You've got a what?" Giles asked.

"A. Date." She rolled her eyes. "Y'know. Girls, boys, drinking coffee in public venues and discussing their Christmas vacations? That's the plan, anyway." She turned her head, fixing her gaze on portal-Buffy. "Riley and I need to have a talk."

)))

Riley was back in town and school was due to start up again the next day, so Buffy had agreed to meet him for coffee. They'd been sitting in the Espresso Pump for almost an hour, chatting amiably about their respective vacations - though Buffy had left her strange experience with the portal out of it - when Buffy suddenly grew pensive.

Riley noticed her changed expression when he came back with the latest in a long stream of whipped cream-laden mochas, and was quick to ask her about it.

"Does it bother you? That I'm so much stronger than you are?" She was doodling with a stir-stick in the small pile of sugar she had spilled on the table, and didn't see the amusement in his eyes.

"I wouldn't be too sure of that. I'm not exactly a weakling." She did, however, hear the laugh in his voice, and looked up at him with something akin to amazement.

"You have no idea what the Slayer actually is, do you?" She asked.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, an unexpectedly expressive gesture on what she suddenly thought of as a surpassingly bland face. "A girl who's trained to fight demons?"

She almost laughed at the understatement. "Riley, what you and your commando buddies need their little James Bond doo-dads and backup to do, I do by myself, with a stake and a sword, and usually in heels."

He sat back. "So you're a demon-fighting demon?"

She reached out, suddenly, a sensory expansion that encompassed the entire room. The woman behind the counter was a demon. So was the man in the corner, peering furitively at her over his newspaper. Riley's skin was dry, and there were tiny cracks in his lips. A vampire was hiding out from the sun in the apartment building behind the shop. The little girl handing her mother the change from the muffin she had purchased was singing under her breath, something about frogs and logs and plops. Riley was staring.

"Where'd you get that? I'm human. Born human, gonna die human. Gonna die young, too. But I'm a Slayer. The Slayer. Be-all end-all champion of light. Boogie-man for things that go bump in the night." And she was suddenly rhyming. What the heck? Oh, well; so long as she had his attention. As she spoke, she picked up the table-knife from her place setting. It was cheap, but the handle was thick. As she spoke, "Human, but I'm stronger and faster than anyone you've met," she twisted, turning the knife's handle into a corkscrew. She dropped it in front of him with a dull clang.

He stared at the mutilated knife, then up at her. His eyes narrowed, shifting from the amused, patronizing boyfriend to something clinical, calculating. "Humans can't do that."

Bugger. Hadn't thought this through. And why did she sound like Spike?

"I can. Just... Human with an upgrade." She shook her head. "Look, Riley. This doesn't have anything to do with your work; I'm totally thrilled that you guys are keeping the demon population down - leaves me with more time for homework. I just didn't want to start something with you without being honest, first. I mean, if we're going to have a real relationship, you're going to need to accept that I have an honest-to-god sacred duty, and it will always come first. But there's plenty of room in my life for other things, and that could include you." She rose and leaned over to drop a kiss on his cheek, swiping the knife as she did so. He was less likely to talk if he didn't have the evidence. "Just, think it over, and I'll see you around."

)))

Spike was more than a little confused as he made his standard mad, blanket-draped dash from sewer entrance to awning through the cloud-filtered sunlight. Portal-Buffy had mentioned the possibility of sparring with Buffy the night before, and it had taken little persuasion to get Giles' promise to contact the owner of the local dojo in order to reserve the room between morning and afternoon classes. Spike could certainly understand the desire to take advantage of the opportunity to fight herself, but what he didn't understand is why she had been so determined that he come along. When she responded to his pounding on the door with a smile, Buffy grinning over her shoulder, he decided to just sit back and go along - watching Buffy fight was pure poetry, and two of her was certain to be even better.

"C'mon in, sunshine."

Spike growled at the name, but settled affably enough in the folding chair next to Giles. The Watcher's greeting was not exactly cheerful, but seemed genuinely welcoming, and Spike relaxed as the two girls finished their stretches and faced off. At a nod from portal-Buffy, Giles pressed play on the small CD-player sitting on the floor.

The girls bowed as the first notes of some bass-heavy techno riff poured out into the small gym, and their dance commenced.

Buffy darted leerily back from portal-Buffy's instant attack, still somewhat wary of the entire procedure. A flurry of blocked blows and high-kicks later, however, and she was bouncing on her toes, ready to really fight. When portal-Buffy darted in with a sweeping waist-high kick, Buffy grabbed her leg and pulled, laughing when the other girl spun in mid-air to land a glancing kick to her shoulder. Buffy retaliated with her own pattern of kicks and punches, leading her opponent to a surprised retreat.

"You're more innovative that I am," portal-Buffy remarked.

"You're faster than I am," Buffy shrugged.

The battle resumed; Buffy, backed against the vault, braced herself against it and levered herself into a nearly horizontal assault, lashing out hard enough to send portal-Buffy staggering backwards. The older girl used her momentum, however, arching neatly into a back handspring that let her kick at Buffy's legs before they reached the floor. The awkwardly combined moves sent both girls tumbling to the floor.

"Weapons?"

"Weapons."

One flew for the duffle-bag that Giles had brought, drawing out a weighted practice sword, and the other dove for the rack of quarter-staves against the dojo's back wall. They met in the center of the room with a crash, weapons spinning so rapidly that Giles' mortal eyes could barely track their movements. Spike hooted as a tricky maneuver with portal-Buffy's staff sent Buffy's sword crashing to the floor. Buffy's eyes flared at the loss and she darted in, grabbing one end of the staff and extending her leg to brace her foot against the other end, torquing her body against the solidity of her opponent's hold and snapping the staff to an upright position. With her hands awkwardly placed, portal-Buffy let go rather than let Buffy use her own weapon to trip her up, and rolled in the direction of the discarded sword.

The battle progressed through two more changes of weaponry, finally culminating in a blistering exchange of staff-blows that had Giles and Spike both shouting accolades and ended only when Buffy, finally tiring, misjudged a dodge and ended up with the end of portal-Buffy's staff planted in the groove between the long muscles of her thigh. With a grimace, she conceded.

"Not bad, little girl." Portal-Buffy grinned when Buffy growled at her.

"That was exceptional," Giles enthused, kneeling beside Buffy to knead at the knot that had blossomed where she had taken the blow. "I've never seen you fight so well - not even against Faith."

"Our Slayer's the best I've ever seen, Rupes, and no mistake." Spike had handed portal-Buffy a bottle of water from the bag Giles had brought and was busy picking up the discarded weapons from wherever they had landed.

Buffy and portal-Buffy exchanged looks with their Watcher, their expressions ranging from incredulous to smug.

"Really?" Giles sounded almost dubious, and Buffy scowled at him.

"Killed two, fought more, and nobody's had half the fire of this one."

"This one has a name, you know." Buffy's pout was petulant.

"Right, then, Slayer. I'll remember." He grinned at her, and her pout turned to a reluctant return smile.

"You've fought other slayers?" Giles asked. "I've never heard that."

"Don't exactly go advertisin' my losses, do I? But really, d'you think I'm good enough to beat every slayer - present company excluded - I come up against?"

His question was rhetorical, but portal-Buffy's "Yes" was vehement.

He turned to her with a quirked brow. "'S a high opinion you've got, pet."

She shrugged. "You said it. I'm the best. And you're the only vamp I've ever fought that was anywhere near as good as me."

Buffy rose with Giles' help and they stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the exchange with matching bemused expressions. "Am I that cocky?" She whispered to her watcher. He just chuckled and shook his head.

Spike, of course, heard her, and cut portal-Buffy off before she could say anything. "You should be, pet. Gives you the stones to take on anything. At the same time, though, you gotta remember: part of the game's luck, and that's not always gonna be in your favor. Keep an eye out for slip-ups, though, and you'll always come out topside."

Portal-Buffy's lips moved in an almost inaudible murmur. "One good day."

Spike blinked at her, and nodded. "One good day."

There was a lull as each was lost in contemplation, then portal-Buffy broke the silence with a smack of her hands. "So. Spikey. You ready for a bit of rough and tumble?"

He looked at her like she was crazy. "You barmy, girl?" He tapped his head. "Chipped, remember?"

She shrugged. "Yup. But I had a run-in with a whacked-out witch and some dark magic, so I'm not entirely human. Figure you'd enjoy a real challenge, and I haven't fought anything but fledglings, mini-slayers, and Angel in ages."

Spike scowled. "Wonder Brow's still around, eh?"

Portal-Buffy's eye-rolling was mimicked by Giles and Buffy's exasperated groans. "He shows up, pokes his nose in things, Dawn bites it off, and he runs away until it grows back. It's a thing."

Spike chuckled. "Sounds like. So then, Slayer. Let's fight."

Portal-Buffy's smile was feral.

Watching them move was somehow entirely different from watching the two Buffys. Where the girl's style had, over time, changed, both knew how Spike moved. Buffy had reacted to portal-Buffy on instinct and observation, but Spike and portal-Buffy danced. Buffy, leaning against Giles as he rubbed her shoulder, thought they looked choreographed, like a fight scene in a movie. Everything was neat, smooth.

"They're so clean," she murmured.

Giles nodded. "I've only seen you fight Spike a few times, my dear, but I'd say you do so just as elegantly." She smiled up at him, and he squeezed her shoulders before returning his attention to the fight.

This time it was Spike who used the vault for leverage, flipping himself backwards over it and catching portal-Buffy on the chin with his boot. She bounced enough to defer most of the impact, but the force of the blow was enough to send her crashing to the floor. With a muttered curse, Spike knelt at her side, grasping her chin so he could tilt her head and check her eyes.

It was the first time they had touched flesh, and sensation raced. There was no definitive point of contact, no blazing fire or icy swath, no epicenter for the tingle. Just the brief glance of skin on skin and a juddering shock that had Spike recoiling.

"What in the blazes of hell was that?!" He demanded, jerking away, feeling Buffy come up behind him, questions on her tongue.

Portal-Buffy wouldn't meet his eyes. "What was what?"

"That! That... tingle thing!"

"Tingle thing?" Buffy chuckled.

"Ain't funny, Slayer. Girl's got some kind of mojo under her skin." He growled under his breath and warily approached, circling slightly. Buffy countered his movement, circling to portal-Buffy's right. Giles watched as the two slipped into flanking positions without speaking to or looking at one another, and a slight smile creased his cheeks even as he kept wary focus on portal-Buffy.

"Mojo of the not-me kind?" Buffy asked, finally meeting Spike's eyes.

"Mojo of the vamp kind, pet. Something's up."

Giles stepped forward, turning their triangle into a square. "Something you'd like to explain, Buffy?" There was a dangerous current in his voice.

"Dammit, Spike!" She turned to face the vampire, shutting her younger counterpart out of their exchange. "You know what that was. It shouldn't work with you, though. Not unless..." She trailed off, but Buffy caught the slip.

"Unless what?" She disregarded the other girl, fixing her attention on Spike. "What's going on?"

"She's got demon blood in her."

"What?" Buffy's surprised cry was highlighted by the stake that slipped readily into her hand.

"No, pet," Spike shook his head. "Not any old demon. My demon."

"Your demon doesn't have blood; it's all borrowed." Giles, too, had a weapon to hand. It was one of the dull short blades Buffy used to practice, but would serve as a bludgeon if needed.

"Then why would I have to feed it to someone to turn them?" Spike asked, mocking smile in place. Giles cocked his head at the thought. "Soon's the blood hits my body, the demon that animates my body incorporates it. Just like you humans with your food. I drink blood; I don't inject it. 'Sjust, the demon doesn't process things the same way - it all ends up in my bloodstream. So yeah, my blood's my own."

Buffy considered him for a moment, then gripped portal-Buffy by the shoulder and spun her around so they stood face to face. "Wanna tell me just why you've got Spike's blood in you?"

She looked almost sheepish. "Vampires. Sex. It's a thing."

Buffy blushed, and looked quickly down at the floor. After just a moment, though, she looked back up, eyes livid. "You slept with Spike? My Spike?"

"Your Spike, pet?" Spike snarked at her possessive tone.

She waved his protest away. "As in, not future. Although I guess she's claiming all the Spikes she can get, isn't she?" She leaned forward into portal-Buffy's personal space, expression dark. "Aren't you?"

"No!" Portal-Buffy protested. "I haven't slept with any Spike in years!"

Buffy tilted her head, examining her. She nodded. "Then why did you two touching inspire major wig?"

Portal-Buffy darted a look at Spike, who determinedly kept his gaze focused on anything but the two women discussing him. His eyes caught Giles', however, and the steely look of encroaching understanding caused him to shiver.

"His demon registered its claim on her, Buffy, that's all." Nobody expected Giles' interjection, least of all Spike. His first thought was to feel utter relief at the man's discretion, but a chance encounter with portal-Buffy's determined expression shook that notion.

"Bloody hell," he sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "'S a vamp thing, yeah?" He asked.

Buffy nodded, and stepped around portal-Buffy so the two of them were standing close together. He lowered his voice; even knowing that the other two could probably hear him, and knew what he had to say regardless, he wanted privacy for this.

"Vampires are social, pet. We have lines, clans, families, and mates."

"Mates?"

"Y'know. Eternal pairings. Undying love, and all that rot."

"Like you and Dru?" Buffy's question was devoid of anything but innocent inquiry, but Spike shrugged it off with a scornful laugh.

"Obviously not, seein' as she's not around these days. No. Dozy bint never would let me claim her; don't know if it woulda took, besides. Claims are based on love, and Angelus drove Dru so crazy she couldn't even consider lovin' anyone but him. Don't know if she was even capable of that."

The compassion on Buffy's face was earnest, but she didn't say anything.

"Anyway. Everything a vampire holds to is tied together with blood. A drop here, a full transfusion there - there are rituals to make it easier, more complete, but everything comes down to blood. A mating ritual can go wrong if the people involved aren't in love - hell, the demon in 'em'll drive 'em batty for making the wrong choice. But sex and blood between lovers? Well, sometimes the ritual isn't necessary."

"So you're," Buffy sucked a quick breath, glancing back at the version of herself that had, apparently, loved another vampire, "mated to her?"

"No." Portal-Buffy, catching Buffy's gaze, had come forward. She pressed a hand to Buffy's arm and drew her attention. "I was mated to the Spike in my own time. We didn't mean it; we didn't even know. It's not complete, and it never will be - but it's real. And I'm guessing that it confuses your Spike's demon."

Spike mouthed "your Spike" in Giles' direction, his expression slightly disgusted. The other man had to fight to suppress a chuckle.

"But you said he shouldn't feel it 'unless.' Unless what?"

"You're quicker than I thought," portal-Buffy tried to put her off.

"I'm you, you twit. Tell me." Her rejoinder sent Spike snickering, but he quickly sobered under the weight of portal-Buffy's silence.

"He told you. It works on love. I'm still in love with my Spike; always will be. He..."

Buffy's eyes widened. "No. Way."

"'M guessin' it's some kind of residue from Red's spell. Nothin' to get het up about, Slayer." His tone was casual, but he drew his persona tightly about him, stung by her curt dismissal of his unexpressed, unexpected affections.

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "No way in the delay-while-I-process sense, Tetchy-boy. Gimme a bit." She shot him an unexpectedly friendly, if restrained, smile and turned, leaving the dojo. Giles tried to stop her with a hand on her arm, but she forestalled his quiet question with an equally soft "Later. I'll meet you guys back at your place." He nodded and let her go.


	4. Further Continuance

"Oh God oh God oh God..." Buffy was pacing the floor of her dormroom, Xander and Willow watching with bewildered helplessness from Willow's bed. Xander had been helping Willow move her things back to the dorm when Buffy stormed in, eyes wild and dazed, and began delivering a convoluted soliloquy on inevitability, soullessness, and Eddie.

Willow, finally tiring of her confusion, leapt to her feet and grasped her best friend by the shoulders. "Buffy! Breathe!"

Buffy did as she commanded, chest heaving as her eyes flickered over the faces of her friends, the comforting familiarity of the room, the dull light that filtered through the curtained windows. She didn't resist as Willow led her to the bed, seating her between herself and Xander, who wrapped a calming arm around her shoulders.

"Wanna try explaining all that again for the non-telepathic among us?" He asked, squeezing her against him.

Buffy just nodded, staring blindly ahead. Willow and Xander exchanged concerned looks, but settled in to wait.

And wait.

"Now would work for me," he followed up.

Buffy shook herself and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, guys. Just... big day. Big, big day. Huge day. Massive."

"Kinda large, then?" Willow smiled.

"A little bit," she smiled back.

"Break it down for us then, Buffster." Xander pulled her back with him and Willow followed so that the three of them were arranged against the headboard, arms wrapped comfortingly around one another.

"First there was the morning, right? I got coffee with Riley because other-me says he's a nice guy, and he really likes me, even though he's incredibly normal..."

"I thought that that's what you wanted?" Willow asked tentatively.

Buffy stalled for a moment, eyes widening. "That's what Angel told me I should want." She turned to face her friend more fully, lower lip trapped between her teeth. "Think about it: Parker, Riley - they're just... Angel substitutes. Except human. And... I don't want to be with Angel."

"You don't?" Xander's comforting voice had undertones of incredulous glee, and Willow scowled at him. Buffy just shook her head.

"He left. Another guy who left. And even if I love him, I don't... I don't want to love someone like that."

"You still love him?" Willow asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Kinda? I don't really know. Do I love him, or do I remember loving him? And if I still love him, do I love him like I used to, or do I love him in the he-was-my-big-high-school-romance way?"

Willow prodded Xander when he started to say something scathing, and the boy subsided and altered his comment to something a little more helpful.

"Well, Buff, I think you having any questions at all means you don't love him like you used to. Back then, you couldn't see anything but, well, forever with him."

"When'd you get so smart, Xander Harris?" Buffy asked, eyes teasing.

"All that time reading comic books while you guys do research; they're big into solving the great moral conundrums." He grinned and dodged the double smacks that were sent his way.

"So what was babble-girl babbling about? When you showed up?" Willow asked, bringing them back to the original question.

"Oh!" Buffy's expression fell as she remembered. "Well. So Riley and I had coffee, and I asked if he minded that I was so much stronger than him. He was all blow-offy, like it was impossible, so I..." She reached over Xander to grab the purse she had dropped onto the night stand and extracted the tableknife she had mutilated earlier. "Well, I gave him a demonstration."

"This is awesome!" Xander enthused, running his fingers over the knife's torqued handle.

"It is," Willow affirmed. "But Buffy, was that all that smart? I mean, Giles and other-you have told us some not-so-nice stuff about these guys. What if he gets all 'demon bad' and comes after us?"

"Y'mean like Xander?"

"Hey!" He protested. "I wouldn't!"

Two arched eyebrows were all that met his comment. "You weren't the one telling me that it was ok for Eddie to get tasered last night?"

"This would be one of those moral lessons I can't get from Stan Lee, wouldn't it?" He flopped back against the pillows resignedly.

Buffy shrugged but got up, shifting him over to the middle of the bed so that she and Willow could curl up against either side of him. "I guess that, with everything other-me's been saying about what I am and what she and Spike have been telling me about the demons who don't want to harm humans, I'm really really starting to see some grey areas. And I suppose that part of me's worried that, if you get mad at me for something, you'll start blaming it on my," and she scrunched up her nose, "demon germs."

Willow chuckled, but Xander only stared at her. "You really think I would?" His voice was hurt, and Willow patted his shoulder.

"You are kinda kill-'em-all guy, aren't you?"

"But... That's what we do! When did that become wrong?"

"Maybe when you started dating Anya," Buffy answered, almost spitefully, but Willow soothed her petulance.

"Maybe it's always been wrong. We learn from Giles, and Giles learns from the Watcher's Council. It's not like they have any interest in differentiating between good and bad demons. They just want a slayer that will kill anything non-human. It's..."

"Racist," Xander breathed.

"Does Anya have a soul?" Buffy asked, her voice honestly questioning now.

"I don't know," he answered. "But I think so. I think she always did. I mean, she was recruited to be a demon because of something she did while she was human, and it's not like what she did troubles her conscience now."

"And she did try to get me to help her get her gem back," Willow added.

"So Anya might have had a soul the entire time she was a demon, but now she's really trying to get along, right?"

"But it's not like she's seeking redemption or anything, like Angel," Willow countered.

"If she never really thought it was wrong in the first place, then..." Buffy cocked her head. "The other Buffy said something to Giles about Spike, and he told me, but maybe it applies to Anya to?"

Xander's look was questioning.

"Well, Faith went bad after she killed someone, right? And we tried to help her - you tried to help her - but it just didn't take. But Angel got her to turn herself in, in LA. So what if, well, people like Anya and Spike, who've done hugely bad things but are kinda part of the gang, just need us to try to help them?"

"You mean, like, counseling?" Willow's expression was dubious, but Xander's eyes lit.

"No, not that! Well, that if they want it, but they don't really feel guilt, do they? But Anya's stuck, now, in a human body, and part of the reason she's trying so hard to get along is that she doesn't want to be all alone, now that everything's different. And Spike, well, he traveled with Drusilla for ages," he didn't comment on the dark look that crossed Buffy's face, "and now he can't kill and is stuck with us. Maybe if we just, I dunno, tried to be friends with them? I mean Spike, mostly, but..."

"I should be nicer to Anya," Willow established, voice determined, and Xander sighed with relief.

"I'd appreciate it. For me as much as for her, really."

Willow's face crumpled a little. "I've been sucky-friend, haven't I?"

Xander laughed. "Not so much. Just, well, everything's all topsy-turvy this year, and we're still settling in. But we'll figure it out, right?"

Willow nodded and dropped her head onto his shoulder. "What about you, Buff? You on the Spike-and-Anya friend bandwagon?"

"All aboard, Wils," Buffy jested. Then her expression hardened. "I still don't know what to do about Riley, though."

"So what happened? You just went Magneto on the knife and left, or what?" Xander asked, sitting up a little.

"Nah. I gave him this big speech about how I was still human, just with an upgrade, and that I just wanted to be honest with him if this whole relationship thing is going to work."

"There're still relationshippy vibes?" Willow asked.

"I dunno, really. I mean, he's nice, and he likes me, and he's an in to this weirdo government facility thing... I figure I'll give him a shot while Giles and I try to get the Initiative shut down, and that way I'll both find out if I want to keep him around for awhile, and hopefully keep him and Dr. Walsh from deciding I'm their next big science experiment."

"Kinda callous, Buffy," Willow warned.

"I'm thinking of it as, well, dual-purposed. I mean, I was all set with the green-light before future-me popped in with this whole 'why would you want normal, anyway' speech, and a demon-hunter isn't exactly normal, anyway... What harm can it do?" She asked.

"Great, you jinxed it," Xander moaned. Buffy swore.

"Is that all that happened today?" Willow queried. "I mean, you didn't mention any of that in your little...thing," she waved her hand at the open space in the room where Buffy had been pacing.

Buffy sighed. "Very, very much no." She sat up and swiveled so that she faced her two best friends, sitting cross-legged on the bed. I sparred with the other me, which was mucho fun, and then she sparred with Spike."

"Whoa! What happened to Chip-Boy?" Xander asked, bolting upright.

Buffy forestalled him with an upraised palm. "Apparently some witch went all Maleficent on her and she doesn't register as human anymore."

"And she's okay with being around him like that?" Willow asked, voice shrill.

"That's where the wig comes in," Buffy sighed again, eyes fixed on her laced fingers. "Apparently, by her time, Spike's died. Twice. And both times he saved the world."

"What!" Xander and Willow screeched in harmony.

"Tell me about it. But it's even weirder. I mean, the two of them were... together."

Xander pretended to faint, and Willow smacked him half-heartedly while maintaining her focus on Buffy's bowed head.

"Willow, did you ever read anything that Giles had on vampire claims?"

"Like, mating claims?" She asked.

Buffy nodded.

"Not much. Just enough to know they take blood and," she stuttered, "sex. And there's a ritual, but it can happen without it. Um... Oh! And they're actual love-claims. I mean, the people who do them have to really be in love."

Buffy ignored Xander's bug-eyed expression and focused her attention on Willow. "See, that's part of what I don't get. Angel told me that demons can't love."

Willow shrugged. "I kinda just figured that was his excuse for why his demon didn't love you." The harshness of what she said struck her mere moments after her words hit Buffy. "Oh, God."

Buffy's eyes widened, and her lip trembled, but she didn't say anything, just turned slightly away from them. Before Willow could compound her mistake, Xander grabbed her by the shoulder and dragged her over so that the two of them could wrap their arms around Buffy's trembling body. "It just means something's wrong with him, Buffy. Maybe that's why he left; his soul loved you, but you know how much influence his demon had on him. He went all fangy the first time you kissed, remember? If his demon couldn't love you just as much as the soul did, then the demon was an idiot. And hey, we all knew that already."

"Maybe," Willow offered, voice shaky, "his demon didn't want to love? Angelus was pretty mad about being stuck inside of Angel for so long. And, well, think about Spike and Drusilla. We know Spike can love - he and Drusilla were together for pretty much ever. And he doesn't have a soul, but he's really, really different from Angelus..."

She was still talking when Buffy cut her off. "He claimed her."

"Who claimed whom?" Willow asked.

"Spike and Dru?" Xander tried to clarify.

"No," Buffy shook her head. "The other me. Her Spike claimed her. She said they didn't mean to, just... there was sex, and blood, and they loved each other."

Xander made a face. "Now there's a bad mental place."

Willow giggled. "Well, he is pretty, for a vampire."

"Tell me about it," Buffy snickered.

Xander just groaned.

"So how'd you find out?" Willow asked. Buffy's serious expression fell back into place.

"That'd be the huge part of the really big day." She rearranged them so that, once more, they were leaning against the headboard. "While they were fighting, Spike knocked other-me around pretty badly. He was touching her to see if she was okay, and he, like, got this great big shock. He had Giles and I all riled up, telling us that she had some kind of demon magic, when she finally yelled at him until he figured it out."

"But..." Willow trailed off, shaking her head.

Buffy caught her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. She says she's gonna love her Spike forever, and because this Spike feels something for me, his demon can sense the claim, and it confuses him."

"Spike loves you?" Xander's eyes were huge.

"I don't know," Buffy shook her head again. "He said it was just something leftover from Willow's spell, but..."

Willow's squeaked apology went unnoticed as Xander held her attention. "What about you, then? If there was still magic going on, wouldn't you, y'know, feel it too?"

"I ended the spell!" Willow protested.

"Wils, you made us fall in love for a day. And unless we wiped our memories, there'd still be all kinds of weirdness attached to that." Once again, the witch subsided, and Buffy returned to Xander's question. "I dunno, Xan. I mean, you've seen us. Just the other day you were all complainy-guy 'cause Spike and I were making nice. He hasn't been a complete jerk - except for in the basic, let me snark at you because that's who I am kinda way - for a while now, and I actually like him hanging around. And when the other Buffy told me last night how she felt about him, it didn't freak me out like I expected it to. And then today, well," she shrugged. "Obviously I wigged, but part of my wiggage was about how I wasn't wigging. I mean, he said it, and it was basic 'ohmigod he likes me' weirdness. Like when you asked me out, except weirder." Xander scowled at the reminder. "Sorry, but it's true. Just, someone I never thought of like that. But I didn't freak on the whole vampire thing, or the soulless thing, really. The other Buffy says he turns into a good man, and I don't know if I believe her or if I just want to, but... I want to."

"Huh," was all Xander could say.

)))

"Oh, thank God it's you. Giles's been after me to do research all friggin' afternoon, and Spike went walkabout right after you left. I'm dying of dust-mites!" Portal-Buffy opened the door to Giles' flat with a huge grin, barely pausing for breath during her welcoming speech.

"Whoa. Who gave you coffee?" Buffy asked, a smile working its way onto her face in spite of the sobriety of her mood.

Portal-Buffy stuck out her tongue. "Giles. Told me there was vague hope of me retaining consciousness for the duration if I was appropriately caffeinated."

Buffy gave an appreciative snicker. "That'd be Giles. So. When's he wanna call the Council?"

Portal-Buffy craned her neck to check the clock on Giles' mantel. "We've got a bit over an hour."

"Want to take a walk?"

Portal-Buffy's mood shifted instantly to something more serious. "You want him along for this?"

"I'm thinking this is something I need you for, actually." Buffy shrugged. "I suppose I should talk to Spike, too, but..."

"Kinda weird, right now?"

"All kinds."

Portal-Buffy nodded. "He should be back here later tonight, but you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to." She turned her head and called to Giles that they were heading out for a bit, making a face at his warning to be careful. She stepped out into the early evening and closed the door carefully behind her. "He really didn't expect that to come out the way it did, you know."

"I know," Buffy nodded. "Doesn't make it any less unexpected."

"You're taking it a lot better than I ever did."

Buffy turned to her with surprise. "Really? How so?"

"Well, I didn't find out for more than a year after this. I don't think he did, either. I mean, he knew later that he'd always had a thing for me - is there really any way to say this without sounding totally stuck on myself? Just assume that anything I say is something he told me, okay?"

Buffy nodded, wide-eyed.

"I've only been here a day, and things are already changing so much. I mean, this is probably the time that he and I got along the best, really. There'd been some pretty nasty fights, and we yelled a lot, but there were a few weeks there when he and I got along pretty well."

"Is that why you came here now?" Her voice grew slightly sharp. "Did you mean for this to happen?"

"Nah. I couldn't have pinpointed exactly when it was. Giles just went through his journals and picked the time when the least was going on. Willow, Dawn and I talked him into letting us try to change things up a bit, but that was mostly so we could avert some pretty heavy-duty disasters. I didn't really think about what this whole thing would mean for Spike." She shrugged, but her voice caught. "God, but when he started talking last night..."

"How long ago did he die?" Buffy was sure there was a more tactful way to phrase the difficult question, but it wouldn't come to her.

Portal-Buffy sucked in a sharp breath. "Over a year ago, the last time. I haven't seen him in more than two."

"You didn't see him in between?" Buffy asked, incredulous.

"Nuh-uh." The pain was so stark on the other girl's face that Buffy reached out to grasp her hand as they walked. It felt strange, some mystical tingle as their demon germs interacted, she supposed. "I didn't know he was back until he was gone. I didn't tell him until the end, you know." She pulled at their joined hands, leading Buffy off the road and into one of the less-patrolled cemeteries. "That I love him, I mean. God. The world was falling down around us, he was burning so damned bright, and I couldn't help but love him."

"You didn't before then? But I thought, the claim..." Buffy was confused.

"Oh, I did. No question. But it's why I said the claim wasn't complete. It relies on absolute, gut-wrenching, devoted to the end love. And I could barely let myself whisper it with my head under my pillow." She turned to face Buffy, so solemn and still that she could have been carved from stone. "I took out everything on him, for over a year. My past with Angel, Riley, Dad, even Giles - everything I wanted to say, I pounded into his skin. I hated my friends sometimes, and I worked that in there, too. Mostly I hated myself, hated my calling, hated that I could never stop fighting. Of course, if I'd ever tried to stop, the boredom and guilt alone would have killed me. But I wasn't much for sense. He used to tell me, over and over, how much he loved me, and I'd tell him every time that he couldn't. That he wasn't capable. That I wasn't capable."

Buffy watched her in horror. "What the hell happened to you?"

Portal-Buffy's chuckle was dark. "A whole lot of things that you'll never have to deal with. And even if you do..." She gripped Buffy's shoulders. "It's been a day. A goddamned day. And you are already so much better prepared. Just watching you, the way you talk, the way you listen... When you fought me today. Have you ever fought like that before?"

Buffy was confused by the change in subject, but she was quick to reply. "Not that I can think of. Sometimes, against Spike, it's similar, but never the same."

"For a few years, right before and after everything went to hell, Giles sent me all over the place on vision quests and spiritual retreats. I even went into this nifty little pocket dimension and met the men who made the first Slayer. I have a better understanding, better access to my power, than anyone I've met. And you held your own against me today. I gave you a twenty-minute pep-talk last night, and you're already as strong as I am."

Buffy cocked her head, considering, and started them walking again. "I'm not sure that's all it is."

"What do you mean?"

She held her hand out, palm up, in front of her, and waggled it. Portal-Buffy pressed her own palm against it.

"Feel that?"

Portal-Buffy looked at her. "Nope."

"Didn't think so." She dropped her hand. "Every time I touch you, I get tinglies. You don't, so I'm thinking it's something affecting me. And since I did some major slayer-tapping this morning that I'm sure I couldn't do yesterday, I'm thinking too that whatever's changed in your slayer that makes it different from mine - like a virus mutating, or something - is making mine change, too."

"Like the my slayer is teaching yours, or something?"

"Yup."

"Huh." Portal-Buffy pondered that. "Neat."

"Yeah." They walked in silence for a few moments, pondering subjects that would have seemed beyond them at casual appraisal.

"Slayer-tapping?" Portal-Buffy finally asked.

"Huh?"

"You said you tapped your slayer this morning. What happened?"

Buffy shrugged. "I was out with Riley and I asked him if he was okay with me being stronger than he was. He got all laughing-boy, like the thought of me kicking his ass was some big joke, and I just, well, turned the slayer on."

"Meaning?"

"Giles keeps harping on me to focus, to expand my senses, to pick up the demons around me. Without even thinking about it, I could feel two demons passing for human and a vamp in hiding, and I could see and hear a lot better than before. I dunno. I just felt... ready."

Portal-Buffy grinned and nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Y'know, this learning by proxy thing is pretty neat. You think that maybe, after you've rattled around for another twenty years, you'll drop by and let me soak up the advanced course?"

The two girls were still giggling when the first fledgling of the night approached.

)))

Almost half an hour had been spent in the jubilant dispatching of various demons. Though the local population had been low recently - due to the Initiative's influence - something about the two slayers fighting together had called out the worst of the local baddies. After only two cemeteries, however, the influx subsided and Buffy was once more caught up in thought. They turned without speaking, heading back to Giles' and the phone-call that might change Buffy's life forever.

But that wasn't what was on her mind.

"Was it because he loves you?" She asked, startling her companion.

"Huh-wha?" Portal-Buffy asked, eloquently.

"The tinglies he got from the demon. He's only known you for a day, but if he liked me, and he said you're a nicer version of me, and all grown up and stuff, then..."

Portal-Buffy threw her head back and laughed. "In which universe does Spike like nice?"

Buffy smirked, but repeated the question. "Seriously, though -"

"No. It's not me."

Buffy's voice grew soft. "Then it's me?"

"Is that such a bad thing?" There was something forbidding in portal-Buffy's tone, but Buffy didn't hear it.

"God. Ask me a week ago, and I'd've said yes, no question. Now?" She shrugged. "I remember being in love with him, y'know. Not real love, but all sugar-sweet and soft."

"Do you miss it?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. It was too... obviously fake. I loved him like I loved Jeffrey in high school, when holding hands and exchanging notes was everything. But sometimes I miss - God, I'm pathetic."

"What? Seriously, girl. What're you gonna say that shocks me? Up until two days ago, you were me."

"I miss the cuddles." She said it fast, her eyes closed, and nearly tripped over the raised edge of an inset plaque marking someone's grave. Portal-Buffy caught her and laughed.

"He's good at those."

"And I miss..." She trailed off, and portal-Buffy gave her an encouraging nod. "I miss him supporting me, backing me up in the fight, and... not looking at me like he hates me. When the spell was over and I thought about it, I was almost sad. Not because I wanted to be in love with him, but because I missed having him on my side."

"I can't say he'll always be on your side, because really, his life kinda sucks and he wants to change it. But if you try to make him happier with where he's at - I'm not saying throw yourself at him, or anything; just, I dunno, accept him - then he'll be the best fighter on your team, and he'll always have your back."

Buffy's eyes lit at the thought, and she chuckled. "I talked with Willow and Xander today," she began.

"Yeah? What'd they have to say about all this?"

"That we should hop aboard the Spike-and-Anya friendship bandwagon."

She cocked a disquieted eyebrow. "I hope you're paraphrasing."

"Really, really not."

"Hmm. Well. Good to know you kids can get along without the sage advice of the local wise woman, then." She and Buffy shared a disparaging grin, and turned into the courtyard of Giles' apartment.


End file.
